Ready? Ready For What?

13,

        Are we really ready for a relationship? Is this goal of ours too simple for our specific value and definition of a dating relationship, or even a guy TO date? I can not believe we would ever forsake you guys....but it could happen. As much as Fe and I may have the dream to date someone, it is so much more lengthy and harder than we thought. I mean with our standards and already independant nature, we don’t see a light at the end of this tunnel by graduation. We see how challenging it is to find a guy. Now, how much energy do you suppose it takes to keep him too? We feel so bitter yet freed from the truth that we are not ready to do that. Our romantic endevours or, as we’ve looked back on them as and like to call them, shenanigans, need to be put to a stop. A quick break was our first intention, but once that stress rolled of our shoulders, we knew this was gonna come; the moment when we say this blog may have no parents to nurture it. Me, being the Rose that I am, view this as our baby, our special project as friends! So, don’t be goin’ thinking that this is a snooty rain check FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES, but also, don’t be thinking that this is just a fluke. Our lives are morphing and gravitating more of our attention. As we get older, we are starting to see the priorities. We originally wanted to write freely about our random encounters and hints of lovey-dubbyness and keep record of the funnyness and be in this “love search” together. Sadly, these events are wearing us down, and focusing on it is terribly ruining the joy of being “young, dumb, and in love” (Mat Kearney) We have found ourselves delving way to deep into boy-business and analyzing every little thing.

In conclusion, this is of the few last posts we shall be doing. It was a joy ride while it lasted and thanks for lasting throught the tears and laughs with us. You guys we truly awesome readers. You encouraged us and reminded us of what this project was really for till the very end of the year. Alas, we have lost touch of the tween inside us haha. It would be one thing if we truly had love to write about, but we don’t actually. It became inner arguments and analyzing of how we think love should approach us. It was tween drama magnified. Even if it was a juicy movie script, we were run down by it; run down by our great attempts of making things more than they were. It’s time for us to grow up ladies. We’re putting on our big girl britches and charging towards jobs, school, careers, passions; the real stuff. Preparation for something or someone amazing in our lives is instore, and we don’t want to miss the time. We are maturing our priority list. And this blog is head-diving to the bottom of it.

Now that you’ve gotten the picture, I still have room for a little tidbit of romantic fluff:

One of the last bits of advice to you ladies from Rose - 

To know if you’re ready for a relationship you must know yourself, your hormones, and really good girlfriends. It’s the defense for your heart. 

It’s really not over-rated to be under control bodily and emotional in a dating relationship.

If you fall over the cliff, there’s never any shame in flee’ing away from a broken relationship; it’s breaking you and them the longer you stay. 

Have knowledge in the good guys that still exist; 1 or 6 guys out of 7 billion doesn’t count as representation of the male population. 

There’s no going back in the stupid mistakes you make in a relationship; choose your reactions wisely.

Enjoy the happy times even if there’s an impending storm. You can prepare by holding onto the good times.

        XOXO

Fe & Rose

Single & Loveable

  "Afraid of losing my chances...It’s only a little while I have my pretty youth...It’s easier...I have to, to get the experience...I want excitement...I’m going to get the satisfaction and happiness...I want...There’s nothing that could ever fulfill its place." DATING....the reasons we here to date, the reasons we give ourselves to “get out there”; Ahhh…the pressure we’re getting as teenagers! Will that area of our life ever get a break from the questioning and poking? Then on top of outside forces, we ourselves have this imbedded need for meaningful relationships. Sure that’s a born trait, but what we do with that desire, is getting so out of hand as a society. Supposedly, we’re supposed to be unrestrained in our desires. The world raises a perspective that we are born for “romantic relationships”, therefore it’s okay and sometimes a must in most ages. They say it’s never too soon to develop one (a relationship), and it’s a quick revelation. “We should go after the desire once it hits”......I have a question; do I have the same definition of dating we’re talking about here? I’m looking for ACTION, VERB LOVE within this activity if you haven’t figured that out yet :) The world says I should be looking for the quick fix to my loneliness or hole in my heart through dating, among other processes. MOST OF SOCIETY AND I DON’T GET ALONG AS YOU CAN TELL. For those of you that are not into dating right now like I am, or taking a break from it, I solute you. You are so strong; squishing the world’s lips whispering to date continually. I raise my toe to you ladies who are in the position of being single and waiting on love/a GOOD relationship. It’s hard. I know. If you’re dating someone you like, good for you! I hope its meaningful relationship that succeeds! So, don’t be saying I was subjugating taken women ;) I love them to death for surviving the first awkwardness Fe and I haven’t faced yet. Continuing, the purpose of dating doesn’t have to do with fulfilling a desire, and being single doesn’t have to do with being empty in reality. It’s so hard not to believe that though with all the teasing and advertisements. So, I don’t blame our fellow lovelies who are lost in the midst of the distortion. I actually feel so sad for them! Not annoyed or disgusted. Listen to your heart ladies. Listen to your beliefs and listen to your mothers. It’s a dog eat dog world out there; It’s a person suck the life out of the other person world. Dating isn’t for sucking! In either forms of the word!! So, without further or do, after that short-stop with inappropriateness, I go on my loveable spiel now-

  I’ve learned being single is an opportunity, not a limit. Whether you’ve been in a relationship before or not even gotten “the talk”, there’s a lot to do while being numero uno that is quite lovely! I get to plant deep roots; live to where people remember me. There is the chance to cultivate healthy relationships with people. I can freely get to know other guys and know how to associate with them (note to self though: you don't have to want to date someone to get to know them). In all, I have the time to prepare for the future relationship that comes my way with ultimate possibilities. Being single and loveable is all about growing yourself for the excitement of dating when either you’re ready, or have him suddenly come upon you so you have to connect with him. It’s like armoring yourself all while enjoying the prosperity of the freedom at hand. I think I like that philosophy more than sitting at home wondering why no ideal guys have interest in me. There are huge opportunities you have while being single and if other people say you have no purpose, like I’ve experienced, I am here to tell you they are DEAD WRONG. You worth more than a phone number or being known as the silly virgin. You have standards, sense, and time to fill.....okay that last one sounded depressing, but I mean you have time to fill with fun things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were getting’ it on with cupid. Truly finding happiness within yourself is a big step towards being the best person for that guy you always dreamed of. So, while being single, I personally plan to bathe in the freedom of flirtation, regular commitments, and just jiving with other guys. As a hint toward next week’s subject, knowing if I’m prepared or not for a relationship if a chance arises? Being happy single will clear the fog of indecision. I’ll be confident in myself to weigh out the pros and cons of that opportunity when it comes. There are truly benefits to having a loveable value of you and self-improving while single. Plus, all this “developing” and “associating” isn’t that lonely. So, take that society who thinks I’m lonely!! I don’t need a significant other to prove that I am valuable or loveable. I am not leftovers. And the same go to my readers!

XOXO,

13

Wonder how Fe’s doing? Follow her on her blog http://www.therotateproject.blogspot.com

*She usually updates every-other day. (:

Our Current Romantic Endevours

13:
 Hey guys! So the world of 13 today - pancakes, coffee, tackled by a friend randomly dropping by, and sitting at my computer (which is now called “lamp post”). Its 4am, and I still haven’t gotten to writing anything for you guys; procrastination. But, I’m finally sitting down (metaphorically speaking) and telling you about my life, romantically speaking. So much speaking (This is not what Jumping Bean and I are doing). We’re not talking at all, and maybe that’s for the good. You know me though; I don’t want to stop associating with the kid if we can still be friends. He’s like a disease that’s never going to get out of my head! Poor me with brain damage, asking for stress again! I can’t imagine not being friends with him, yet I can’t see us platonically working without a wrench if “I still really like you” always coming at me. Aye, what to do....actually what to hope for? Am I being selfish praying for a ripped relationship to mend out of the preexisting torn pieces? Is God on our side in this friendship? *looks for a sigh* If there’s so much stress and ickyness in a relationship is it meant to be? Hey, I’, only 16 and don’t know a whole lot even as I’m writing a “relationship blog”. The summer is here and time or me to learn this kind of stuff without so much distraction *gets FB notification* eheh....Anyways! In conclusion, Rose is confused (normal).

     Speaking of confusion, guess who got 35 boxes of Honey Graham OH’s cereal? Haha, so I was basically crying and laughing and gaping all at the same time when I came home to this, which was put in my house by BREAK-IN! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my house was broken into. What was stolen? Only kitchen table space where all the boxes were left. Long story, but my male friend and I have a yearly tradition of giving one gift to each other instead of each holiday. At random times in the year we’ll plant our gift. It’s a tradition :P We shall call him “the robber” if I talk of him again, since he broke into my house!

23,as you probably can deduce, is relaxingly not handling boy-business. She's happy at the moment preparing for her research trip and focusing on her busy life. It's quite nice to take a break from developing relationships with guys isn't it? It won't be long though that that break will soon fade away...and she isn’t happy about it! 

Well thank you for checking in on such short notice! I’ll have a regular post up by Saturday evening (it’ll be a long one) and just to let you know, as you can see to the right *makes fancy hand gesture*, we have an iTunes playlist of songs we have used on this blog and more! Enjoy the tunes and have a good rest of your week!

Medianess!!

13:

EVERYTHING HAPPENS IN GEOMETRY. Literally, I should be working in my geometry final right now, but I am taking a break from the test to write to you (Don’t do that at home kids)! Bad Rose but I have so much to tell! In example, I will be the lone ranger on this blog for 4-5 weeks. If you haven’t caught our Facebook video notice before I posted this puppy then here you go. We love you guys very much but life comes before media (tell that to the world), Fe shall be returning sometime late in July :) No worries though; if she tried to escape I would just rope her back in! She WILL be back my lovelies! In other business, since it’s summer we can play around a bit with spreading our wings, per say. A YouTube channel will be up and going ATLEAST by Fe’s return! What do you all think? Please, please, please input your opinion downstairs (the comment box) or on our Facebook page! We’d really like to make this blog better for our viewers! (It would be used for any extra stiff we want to tell you and when we have our interactive project (spoiler alert). So this is our mass mediaful and changing message to you! We hope you’re having a grand week and if you’re already out of school, then we hope you’re having an even better than grand weekend! Check us out in the middle of the week and we’ll.....actually I *cries*, will have a regular post up as to not to deprive you. Look at this artistic rendition of high school. 

(and if you haven’t seen the video notice here’s the public link for ya: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=458413284171542&set=vb.149514041830380&type=2&theater) although it’s pretty bad quality and i ramble :P

       

A Change of Seasons

13:

              Well, a lot fades and many things rise at the end of the year. As the sun pokes out (and other blinding things do :P ), drama and inspiration drown out in the noises of school finals. Although, I can say that between fumbling and dreaming with romance, I haven’t taken a day to look at the sun. What’s wrong with love is really just what’s wrong with MY relationships. Love is way better than who or what I have stumbled onto this year. Even as I can say I have learned a lot, there are key things that have made my world into something... much uglier. Those things are and have been coming from trying to terribly search out a “love life”. As of a week ago, I started dropping profanities like pearls of wisdom seeing how mistaken I was. Now writing, there’s so much to say to explain my misfortunes and cruddy decisions and how they have distorted my heart and eyes. But I know there is limited number of pages I can write...or you would be interested in reading ;) I have made decisions and tried my best without basing or knowledge to back it up throughout my relationship with Jumping Bean. I have realized how unfit I am to decide vital paths in a relationship. So, guess who’s going to enjoy her summer without a boy-toy or boy-drama? Me! And I shall recreate my outlook on life and love during these nonsocial weeks. Sounds pretty complicated right? Well, such is life as a teenager; recreating your values and opinions by the minute. I will get passed this pain I caused myself this year and hold onto the good memories. Finishing this year sounds so icky, considering the finals, by I am ready to close the book on so many areas of my life and refresh myself. Readers, this girl has made so many dumb mistakes she could be depressed. You know what though? She is going to cry, drink her old lady tea, pray, get up, and run head first into finding happy, without romance. Unless she can learn to be happy with herself and life, she is not going to jump anybody anytime soon ;) Patience young grasshopper readers, she will be armed to the teeth soon to date!

23:

          I kinda guess my new goal for next year is to start hanging out with other people...the same people I usually hang out with, but some other new people too. With new classes ya know, it’s bound to happen. I just feel like that if I don’t, I’ll go crazy- or something like that. It just feels like some things are getting to me…like how people are sometimes. I myself (and I am willing to admit this) have not been in the best of moods lately. Stress can get to people like that. Add finals on top of your last year to collect data for your senior project (this is my LAST chance), and the fact that the place that I’m staying for this trip is the last time I’ll be staying there...it’s hard to ruin a ten year long tradition. I practically grew up there and it kills a huge part of me to know that I’m never coming back…it’s worse of a feeling than back in March during the fallout…There’s a ton of other stuff but those are my main two.

It also bothers me how people expect you to be a certain way…society, friends, enemies, even your best friend and how they say that they won’t hold you to their standards, but then they go and do it anyway. Let’s not forget the thing with guys- how they have it so easy sometimes. It’s complicated…how you have to pretend that you don’t notice them noticing you. High school, I swear…it’s a battlefield for your heart. Just to get through these four years of hell we practically agree to ourselves to have a certain personality and go along with it. But how do you know if it’s even you? How do you define yourself by some personality that you’ve created and live it out? What if no one likes that costume?  Then that person that we are changes- grows more knowledgeable, more wise. We build stronger barriers between people and our hearts. We come to recognize the way that people work. We can read looks on faces and tones of voice over text. Sometimes we learn this over a long period of time. Maybe I’m over analyzing. Maybe this is something you’d hear thirty years ago. But like Rose and I, we’ve learned our lessons the hard way.

 Lesson 1: Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to hear the answer to.

 Lesson 2: Keep your fences up.

 Lesson 3: Time is everything. Try not to get dates confused.

 Lesson 4:  Never put your happiness in the hands of other people, and finally,

 Lesson 5: Always, always, always remember that if something happens, God will make it help you in the future; to carve out the better you.

Maybe 13 and I will find a great new guy junior year. Who knows? But until then, we shall remember the lessons we have unwillingly learned and the many that we are bound to unwillingly learn in the future. We started the first years post with “Statuses as of now.” Well, our “Statuses as of now” are two girls who are kissing “goodbye to Alice in Wonderland” and embracing the “oddballs” that they are. These two girls will make sure that guys will “love us for us,” no matter what we hold out for, despite all the creepers, the hazy rose colored glasses, “love and other disasters;”  none the less, “fools like us” don’t give up on love…and we’re holding out for the best, and not settling for anything less than everything. Here’s to the half-way point. Here’s to the last post before twelve grueling weeks of vacations, weathering storms (literally in my case), planning for next year, figuring out love, saying goodbye to the things that we hold dear, and prepping the battle ground for junior year.  And even though we’re still learning to walk, let’s go.

They're BAAAAAACK!

13:

Jumping Bean strikes again! I thought it was over....like really over. Not like all the other times before where I had more doubt than belief. This time....I really believed the drama, the stress of having to watch my words, the tears of pain for a friend never moving on, was done. I should have caught the warning when we once had a quick conversation; he had basically proclaimed he “forgave me” for my harsh actions, but still believed our broken relationship was all my fault and he wished I had known the truth. I left it at that, being so frustrated by the first part. And we did not breach the subject again. He said this past Sunday, “I’m actually happy you said no.” It surprised me. I was happy for him, relieved for myself, and thanking God. But, not even 2 hours later in the night, he sent me a message; a warning. He was going to give me a, I quote, “letter of pain”. I found that message two days later before youth group. I became pretty anxious. What if it’s a regret letter? What does he expect? Should I take it or refuse it? We talked in person after youth group once I read his letter. I realized how irrevocably similar this note was to his Valentine’s Day one (see “A Post Dedicated to Rose”); a love note desperate for a chance. There was less guilt tripping wrote but basically the same. We sat too long and I didn’t even give him a yes or no answer. I asked him why he gave me this even though he KNEW what I would say. I refused to dish out the pain just because he thought he would learn from it, as he put. In response to his attempt to cause himself pain enough to never make the mistake again (by keep asking), I told him, “I’ll support you in life with what I can, but I won’t give you what I don’t have; the feelings I don’t have.” “God does not intend for you to learn through pain.” “I don’t know how to help you but this is unhealthy. You need to find another way to express yourself, not by writing letters and a question you KNOW the answer to.” “You’re stuck in a no, but there are yes’s in your future. If you keep stuck in a no you could miss out on the opportunities of a yes.” “Find your happiness, even if it’s not with me.” These bits came out in between silent minutes; he never spoke after explaining his purpose. You could have heard a pin drop if it were not for the rain. Tears of course were involved; his out of sadness and mine out of frustration. We’re emotional creatures ;) So....I guess it wasn’t over. Without him knowing, I’ll set boundaries because I don’t want to inflict pain by being close, but not close enough. Being buddies, on what level is a mystery. I won’t be offended or devastated if he decides to set up boundaries either- Because I care more about him as a person than our relationship. Well ladies, looks like the stress isn’t over yet. Love is not this hard. Life is not intended to be this painful. God hasn’t planned our paths of learning or getting to love to be so sticky and painful. That’s what I believe. Looks like this isn’t the relationship for me! (Don’t worry; I knew those months before).

23: So many things in life take patience. I say this as I sit in the traffic jam that’s been moving along at ten miles per hours (that’s about fifteen kilometers per hour for our international readers) for the past five miles and for what looks to be another fifteen miles ahead. It’s not that bad though, after all, there is a gorgeous thunderstorm over head. I can’t even tell you how many lighting strikes I’ve seen in the past thirty minutes. That’s the only great part about this stinking traffic jam…that I decided I’d be stuck here long enough to come up with something for a post…Should I be on my laptop in the middle of a thunder storm? I should know this…

                Anyhow, here my weekly notion of love and how it can people up a wall:

                Like my counterpart, the past does tend to rear its ugly head every once in a while, but just like a game of whack-a-mole, I shove it back into the depths of my mind and repeat the process until I’ve knocked the mole unconscious for several days…I haven’t quite gotten to the point of rodent killing poison- though I might feel less guilty about it if I use it on the moles that insist on me finding a boyfriend. I’m still happy as a pickle, acting and training myself to be oblivious to certain persons. ;) It seems that these few past week have old times popping back up…not like we appreciate the reminder of our more desolate days. Isn’t it funny sometimes how the past likes to rear its ugly head when you least need it?   

                So in order to keep life manageable I shall do what I need to do: Study, work up 200 dollars for the research trip (so excited!), and buy eight billion birthday present because all of my buddies’ birthday seem to be in June…

So here’s to the past:  

Sweet Time, Sweet Patience

            Patience is key in so many ways. You have to be patient in waiting for that job promotion. You have to be patient in waiting for your blessings. You have to patient with your consistently pms-y buddy. You absolutely MUST be patient in waiting for love. But most of all, you have to be patient with your favorite blog writers…especially with final projects being due, and state testing coming up and finals…so many finals. So forgive us two ladies for not writing a post. We’re trying our best but we have not time at the moment. Try not to raise your hopes until the 20^th of June either. We have much work to do and this side job which requires SO MUCH personal insight will be neglected. We’ll keep you updated on our Facebook page.

Superficial

13:

Ohhhhh how looks dominate this world. And we, as Christian ladies are taught from birth to view it as fiendish to even think looks could be a part of the love equation. As much as I would like to say I could marry a dwarf or a really ugly person, it’s not my pleasure to. Unless God shot me with a lightning bolt and pointed to someone of that...”physique” I truly can’t say I would go for it. This week, we’re talking about LOOKS. Woohoo! If I were to create an ideal guy (as much as my fantasies go), he would be a blondie with freckles and a nice body. Now, sweet guys come in all shapes and sizes, but, oohh to have a blondie. Confession time; blondes with deep voices are the bees knees in my lovely brain. Or, as my previous teen brain had come to find guys with dark hair and pale skin.....yah my choices vary, lol. At this point, I have found many unattractive guys to be the sweetest and good looking ones to be taken. The jerks have been too old, and the young ones have been too oblivious to have a clue. Ladies, if all of our fantasies were to come true we wouldn’t value them as we do when the (from totally unsuspected places) ones pop up as a blessing to all our hard work. How do we get them on our radar though? Gosh what a question. It’s actually quite challenging because of the walls media has influenced the great guys to put up, and the warped fashion that has put off an incorrect insides example. Although, I think the ones who truly show who they are, ARE the “great guys” to date anyways. So, wait Rose, are you saying I should be okay with stereotyping people? Naw, well…to an extent :P  I can agree upon “believing the (uncontrollable) nose shape is a tell-sign to a guy’s value as a potential boyfriend” motto is stupid, but, “profiling” is a good way to microscope potential, if done realistically. I mean hygiene, dress, and crowd. My ideal guy is not in a scholary pollo and pressed khaki’s, nor covered in piercings and hanging out with druggies. I’m not talking overload specific needs or else I’m not dating him kind of search. We’re taking a step back and looking at what we are getting into. It’s smart. My hope is to find “him” in a clean crowd, valuing himself, and paying attention to the person he presents himself to be. This isn’t all I’m looking at, but it is in the “looks requirements”. To judge somebody by the crowd and clothes sounds shallow, but it previews what kind of person he is in a sense. And we all need some sense needing teenagers! As far as I know I’m pretty flexible, but still praying for what I deserve; a sweet man with a sense of humor and God in him....and maybe be a blonde ;) Who knows who I will end up with in the end, or in reality that I’ll first date. All I know is I’m trying my best to keep my eyes open and keep my heart growing for the moment I see a potential. I don’t mean see a “guy who looks like the ideal”, but know a guy who could be potential. It’s all a patient process ladies. I’m not a patient woman so God help me, but I know He will, and I’m not afraid anymore. Off to scout the mall! Just kidding, I’m not that creepy :P I actually should be held up in my room like and shrew and studying for my AP exams 

23:

As for me, I have come down with the apocalyptic flu that seems to be going around all across the state of Washington. Over in Snohomish County they had to close the school it was so bad. I don’t blame the, this thing sucks like nothing else. So, being all this flu medicine junk is causing me to go a little off my rocker, I shall give my best shot at actually writing something worth reading.

 Alrighty, looks wise, I would (and this is NOT because I’m too lazy to ponder this myself) I would have to agree with my counterpart. Preferably- no absolutely MUST be taller than me. I’m already pretty short, so there’s that. PLEASE, for goodness sake, no long hair. I hate that junk. I’d prefer the race to be same as mine- Caucasian- no racism intended.

                I’m a little bit too exhausted and worn out to write the rest so I just threw out the must haves. I think that a huge part of settling for something is how high or low your bar is raised. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I refuse to settle for anything less than everything.

                There it is- a very insightful, superficial post from 884 Days. Thanks for stopping in this week everyone. I shall do better next week when I can actually think. ;)

Oddballs

   13: 
         Love sometimes turn us oddballs into odd squares; still unique, but fitted to their expectations by our own means. Changing our ways is not something we will allow in romance. If we are trying to better ourselves as a person, great, but we will never let inner nor outer forces grasp our personalities and mold it to something we only want to be for the relationship. We must put our ALL, I repeat, ALL into that relationship which you are deep in. To be deep in a relationship never means you’ve already gotten to know each other. It means you KNOW them, but not necessarily SEE them in all their ugly and magnificent glory. Sure, you‘ve seen them naked. Sure you’ve seen them at an emotional state. Does that mean though that you’re done? You have them in your arms, you have an idea of their dark corners and spaces. It is so much more work than that. Being you and seeing them in a relationship takes some of the greatest effort in the whole process. There is no more important thing than getting to know each other FOR REALZIES. That’s the point of “developing” the relationship. If there was one statement to conclude this, it’s “Oddballs shall stay oddballs all the way through the long haul. And they are in it for the long haul. So watch out boys, we’re not into the petty kind of dating.”

23:

A love between two people should be based upon three baselines- is it solvable? Is it entertaining? Does it sparkle? In my previous case- and I finally see this now- It was certainly NOT solvable. It was entertaining…to me. Did it sparkle? Well, it was like someone threw a heavy blanket over a dying flashlight.  There is beauty in the way that life works sometimes- how it can twist and turn your memory of events into something you like; how it can make things that aren’t real appear as reality; how you can be one person on minute and change yourself into the acronym of who you are just so you might seem more appealing to someone you like the next minute. If you love someone, and they really do love you, they will help you to become your best you, not you you’re best them. Think of life as a crossword puzzle- it’s merit and its prominence should be judged in the same way. So next time you find yourself in a relationship- be it good, bad or A-OK, ask yourself this: Is it solvable? Is it entertaining? Does is shine? And even though I’ve only been alive for 16 years and however many months, I do know this much about falling in love with someone: We have a natural want to fill empty spaces- not just in love, but in making your way in a world that doesn’t always embrace unique. I tried to fill my empty spaces with an eccentric friend who can deal out relationship advice- and my friends who remind me why single is a good thing- and that guy I liked. But that wasn’t the answer. Now I know; on the tour of life, just find someone as normal as you- if not, a whole bunch.                

Oh, and here’s a little bit more fresh wisdom: If you love someone, set him free. If you have to stalk him, then he probably was never yours to begin with. ;)  

Happy Fans and Followers Day!

As we have been advertising off and on for the past month, April 30th is National Fans and Followers Day. Below Fe and Rose have created a video for everyone who supports the 884 days mission. This video has been dedicated to our fans, showing the long hours that we log in trying to make this blog succesful. Thank you everyone for supporting us! Don't worry, we'll still have a new post again on Saturday. Oh, and it's another short and awsome one. ;)

XOXO,

Fe and Rose

Another Season Passes...

23:
Okay, so my favorite statement right now is “Getting gone is so much easier than being gone.” I chose this statement because I found a tiny bit of a rush in throwing my arms up in the air in frustration and saying “screw it” to chasing after people. But in reality, you only get one chance to leave and when that chance is taken and finished with, you have to deal with and go through with your plan. That’s the hard part- pulling through with your plan.  You have to harden your heart to everything that is thrown at it. You have to tell yourself ‘no’ and use a lot of self-discipline. It doesn’t make it any easier when your friend points out who you liked likes and you realize that you would never be that great or pretty. Oh wells. Amazingly, I’ve been doing great everywhere else. I’m having a blast with friends; specifically on Wednesday when we had an earthquake drill and the buzzers started shrieking in my ears unexpectedly. I was so freaked out by how sudden it was, it sent my arms to flailing is several different directions while I, like a bird in shock, ran into the wall. I was laughing so hard I was crying- as were my friends, who wonderfully tried in vain to calm down my pulse so I wouldn’t die. Maybe God was trying to tell me something on that snowy March day- that the decisions of my life aren’t always up to me. I mean, no duh right? I knew it in the back of my head, but because I didn’t like the way the truth works, I decided to keep on running along with my blissful fantasies and lies. But now that it’s all over, I’ve found that I’m much more proactive in my work life, my school life, and my social life. I’m excited for the ROTATE trip, not stressed. I’m glad to help my friend, who is in the same situation I was in, get the guy she likes- and it’s working. I’m not jealous, I’m happy for her. Honestly, there is no jealousy at all. Then, on my part, I now have the ability to resist all temptation to think about, look at, or even re-consider my first choice. Maybe it was the symbolism of throwing that rock in the river. Who knows? Whatever it was that happened to the chemicals in my brain, it worked; and it still is. I get to wear sweats more often without caring if I don’t look great. I’m wearing light make-up, I’ve lost 2 pounds and I’m trying to get back in shape. Life is good again. So I say, “Bring it on.” Yes, my old motto has returned.  I think for now, I’ll just go along with life and let who ever likes me, if some respectable person does, like me. Yeah, I may not always look amazing. I’m not always in the best of moods. I don’t always do my homework. I suck at geometry (not exaggerating like my one friend- where terrible is a B+), I have a D in that class. I may not always be quick to get things. I’m not the most reliable person around- I would skip out on a date to chase a storm in a second.  I will always have 13 as my bestie- how can you give up a friendship where you two talk for hours telling one another about how God has great plan for one another, then tell dirty jokes? Yes, I will go off about how much I love to travel, how much I love my research trips, how I’m more comfortable in a motel than my own bed, and how I take long drives when things go bad.  Yeah, I’m an absolute Jesus freak, a firecracker, a slacker and a dreamer. I tell jokes to fill up silence. I feel like I’m on top of the world when I finish some laundry. I love my family, I love my dog and my cats. I talk down to my parents occasionally, but we make up. I’ll tell you off if I don’t like what you are saying about my friends, family or me. I will go buck-wild on you if you disrespect me, maybe even run you over with my car. I prefer gifts from the heart instead of the store. It pisses me off when people take advantage of me, and all I want is for someone to love me and to accept me and take a chance on me. High school is no place to find someone like that. So let’s hang on for the ride and enjoy it the best we can.

13:

Sun, tan skin, lemonade, shorts, short shorts, short short-shorts, epidermis overload, male drool, oh my asdfghjkl IT’S ALMOST SUMMER. And, almost swimsuit/lack of clothing season! What an experience every year. I don’t know what’s coming around the corner, literally, in school. I can’t keep up with these tight, loose, tight down there, skin paint, flowy, random trends! I guess I’m not much of a fashionista since I’m not following the yoga pants trend too :P Well, if anything, I’m a lazy fashionista who doesn’t feel comfortable in skin paint ;) 23 and I both have lack of obsession over clothing styles. We like what we like, and stick with it. We do like to dress up and at least match, but we’re definitely not into the whole “let’s see how many boys we can distract from the geometry lesson” game. Coolio if you have a good body, but isn’t it sexier to keep the mystery? (But oh wait, that’s what the sheer loose fitting shirts are for pshh) Legs are legs, and shoulders are shoulders, but, 23 and I do not plan to be hanging both ways out of our clothes. It’s just not us. Go on guys, imagine our curves as much as you want, but you won’t get nothin’ but a dream considering our personal standards. As much as I like getting into the game of looking good and flirting, I still have to hold on to my dignity. Let’s face it, what kind of guys do I want to attract? Maybe you’d say I have an uptight stick up where the sun don’t shine, but I want ones who don’t look for a “good time” sexually, but a “good time” conversationally and activitylly (totally made that word up). I am discouraged by the amount of jerks I’ve encountered, but my “modest is hottest” motto shall stay. I will keep my shirt up even through the wounds I received in the stomach (by the jumping bean situation). It’s that whole doubt of  being “single and loveable” starting to come down AND I WILL NOT GIVE IN. I will continue to “contain myself” (quite literally) even as I know that does not ward off all jerks in my life. It filters out 75% of the *insert pervasive language* though, and that’s worth it. I won’t let my own psychological destruction of my self-value take over my clothing choices. If anything, I want to get through this on the inside before it starts to show on the outside by bellybutton low shirts and booty shorts. Appreciation for the daily choices us girls make for our looks sometimes just don’t come our way *shakes head* I kind of want to find that guy you find in anime books that never wants his girlfriend to wear skimpy stuff or be in a situation where she would wear something sexy in view of anybody’s but his eyes; who values her modesty more than most qualities. Alas, that is only in the Japanese books as far as I’ve found. Wouldn’t that be great to get a random comment from a dude, that he appreciated the way you dress; that the whole modest look you were sporting was cool?! Lazy as I am, I’ll continue to dress modestly even if I don’t get those “beautiful” compliments. Fe and I have a clue to what to put on the hook for the specific fish we want, so we’ll utilize it. We already yell “Mariana's Trench!!!” when life upstairs starts to say hello so it shouldn’t be too hard to keep it up....right? Maybe it’ll be easier for 23, since she’s better off in the personal looks evaluation than me, then again, we’re our worst critics! See? Who wants our inner turmoil and outside tribulations? Prayers and lucky stars are welcome this week ladies! Hopefully this girl will get her “love thy self” attitude into gear pretty soon, cuz she’s not feeling the energy :/

Love and Other Disasters

As our wonderful readers from across the globe (yes, it is official now) may have read in last week’s post, us two ladies beat our brains out trying to figure something out about love. No, it is not always easy to force wisdom. Our post beautifulness usually comes to us in the night, disrupting our sleep when we need it for the next day. However, we are grateful for such things because if it was not for these tiny mental earthquakes of understanding, 23 probably would have not come up with a summary on taking chances on people- something that hit 13’s situation with “Baby Face,” as we call him, dead center. 23 could tell this because of the many profanities (in a good way) that flew out of Rose’s mouth when she showed 13’s the draft.

Love isn’t always a lightning bolt. Maybe sometimes it’s just a choice. When we meet these people that we think we like, we don’t know if they’re the love of our lives, but we decide to give them the chance to be. You know, maybe true love is a decision- a decision to take a chance on somebody, to give to somebody without worrying if they’re going to give anything back, or if they’re going to hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something that you have to choose. How do we achieve this? We start by putting all our fantasies of true love where they belong. Go on; write your fantasies about what true love is on a piece of paper and light a match under it. Let’s get this straight people; True love is a process, not an event. And however it turns out, if it turns out, it’s all really in our hands. Picture it this way: Love is like a tree. The way that love REALLY is, is the wood beneath all the bark. The bark in this case, wraps around the tree, encasing it and such, like our fantasies of what we perceive love to be. It just takes one forest fire, or truth, wisdom, an eye-opener, to burn away the bark so we can finally see what really lies beneath it all. When it comes to our misperceptions, we can be really self-absorbed when someone tries to tell us different from what we think we know. We get so caught up in our own heads that we miss out on getting to know people worth knowing when we should be getting to know them! These disasters happen when we build a person’s personality up in our heads. We tend to not want to confront reality because we fear that reality won’t live up to fantasy. We build up fantasies because the truth is way too complicated an unsatisfying and hard to believe. But hey, what’s there to do? After all, love loves to love love.  Seriously people, love’s not going to hand you a frickin’ invitation out of the blue one day; you have to ask for one.
-23

Checking in with 13...

Baby Face...
A week later, I sit here in the sun shining from my window, with a candle smellerizing my room with “Angel’s Wings” scent. It’s okay now. I have figured out where I stand. Yes, Jesus is still my boyfriend. “Baby-face” or previously known as “Axe”, is the one i shall try to get to know over time. Egg Mcmuffin’, a new guy to the mix, seems like a great friendship to develop. And I think Jumping Bean will stop being the leach to my energy. I am finished, and now I shall begin. I believe love is a decision, and I make the decision to give people and situations a chance, but not my heart. I’ve learned so much over this time. I know things about relationships I didn’t even know could relate to love. I’m not a genius, but I did manage to come out still held together. Now, I’m going to enjoy life. Even if Jumping Bean is somehow in my life saying he forgives me, but yet still points out that it was all my fault, I won’t worry about it. Plus, I’ll tell him to shut up. Paradise is where I’ll be at if you need me boys. I’ll be spending time with my heavenly friend in the sky, and taking every bit of the moment to heal from what I have dealt with, with maybe along with a virgin margarita to feel womanly powerful. I am happy with my relationship status, and every part of how I am a loveable person. I am single and loveable. Just don’t think I’m that easy to catch! ;) Bye bye old drama, hello new, “handable” drama stress that I am armed for. Wish me luck ladies.
Jumping Bean...

It hurts.... I guess it’s what i wanted. Let’s start our life again! The rug was ripped from under me and now I have to get up and get used to the cold floor. Jumping Bean is happy, and I’m left in his butterfly poop dust. He smiles so much now, but I’m suddenly weighted. “That’s okay though”, I say to myself. It is what I wanted; the pain in both of us to go away. It has in him, so I am happy FOR him. He will go out there in the world, and look at it from new eyes; more positive and wise. He has certainly grown from this. I have too, but the fact that I can never talk like we used to or communicate easily is like a leach. It is named “miss”. I miss him like crazy and it made me cry to realize he has moved on and let go, and it made me sob when I was lead to believe that he had moved so far he was interested in someone. I have not let go and my heart aches. This is hypocritical; I told him the boundaries and how he had to move on. Guess who’s still thinking about the other!! Irony! I’ll never tell him how much I hurt from the cut of an outlet. We could talk about any and everything. No matter how much I know he lied, he kept the greatest understanding of me. Time to forget it though. Sitting here with prickly eyes does no good. I got to buck up, and realize the person ready to give me a hug and listen to everything. Jesus will be my barf bag for words and deep conversations. Sounds weird, but Jesus shall be my boyfriend till someone comes along who can fit that slot slightly as good as Him. It won’t be a physical person anymore. Although tiredly, I remember the sweetness of compassion a guy gave me, the best one is waiting for me to look to Him. And He’ll always be there and never lie.

So 13 and 23 shall continue to search for their chance at love with coffee and cookie dough in hand. Add God to that mix up and they’re optimism shall be virtually unstoppable.

   P.S. We love meeting our readers. If you happen to see us at school, go on ahead and say hi. We love hearing what you think about the blog and how you think we can improve it.

Don't It Make You Feel Good?

23:

Life has its bittersweet moments, does it not? I’ve taken some radical turns to letting go of “Arizona” because obviously I fooled myself into thinking everything I thought and I feel so stupid for doing that. Seriously, I make snarky, mean comments to myself when I go back and read over our first blog posts. Gosh, I’m so sick of having to crawl after people, practically begging for their attention. Well, I’m no longer letting that happen. When I was in Phoenix, I drove along the 202 loop. When I was driving on 202 through Mesa, I seized the mental photos of him and imaginarily threw them out the car window…only because legitimately throwing pictures out the window is littering, and littering is illegal. Anyhow, I then took all my mental love notes and threw those out the window. Along with that, when I got back to the hotel I took my gold locket with the word “Love” written in it and hung it on the Joshua tree over the patio. When I left Phoenix on that airplane, I thought to myself, “Wow. That felt good as ever.” THEN when I was up in the North Cascades with Rose this weekend, and we wrote the names of the guys we liked on rocks and chucked them into the river. It was a beautiful moment. It was like Love’s Nyquil.  

Who’s ready for the bitter side of the story? Good, ‘cause here it is: I wanted a fairytale ending but I got the end of lie. My head was stuck in the clouds of young love and imagination. I saw good guy and I figured, “Hey, I kind of like this person. Maybe it’s possible.” But as time went on, I got worse and worse and worse. I get it now that love is a terminal disease and it is much more miserable than a cold. It just drags on and on and on with no let up. Girls, let me tell you something. You’ll find someone you like. Not just like, but would freaking die for. Everything about them will be perfect. They will be everything you want. Well, in the light they may be dripping honey, but they’ll sting you like a bee. And when they do, it hurts like hell. But the guy won’t always be the bee. Sometimes, you yourself will be the bee. But when you encounter someone like this and find any source of doubt, back away. You don’t know where he’s been. Heed my warning and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and heartache.  Take what happened to me as an example. At that very first moment, I told myself “don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall.” We all know now that that didn’t work out very well. I wish I could undo it. But in the end, I only have myself to blame for playing all those stupid mind tricks. I stole my happy. I made me cry. I made me angry. I made me frustrated. I left my heart out at the shooting range called high school.  It was all my fault that all this heart ache happened to me. Well, now it’s my turn to be happy and free again. His memory is drowning at the bottom of a very cold river right now. I said to myself as I walked away, “If I change my mind, I’m going into that river and getting that rock back.” Well, that river is freezing cold and running high and fast. It would be dangerous to go back and get it out. So all in all, there is no turning back. Next time my friends ask me, “Hey, do you still like that guy?” I won’t say yes. I won’t say sure. I won’t say I guess so. I will say no. I will say no, I do not like him anymore. That’s what I’ll say. I was SO blind. I was so, so, so, so, so blind that’s it’s not even funny. My rose colored glasses steamed up along the trip through love and I guess I lost my way at certain points. Well, reality tore those glasses off my face and smashed them on the ground. Funny thing is, after I got a good look at the way things really were, I started to help smash those glasses into more of where he came from- and I’m NOT saying that I’m not looking for that type of guy anymore. Because that’s still the type of guy I want- but I’m tired of letting someone drag my heart around. I don’t need that kind of happy anymore. It’s the kind of sunshine that always shows up with a cloud. I hate that roller coaster type of love, where it one second you’re up and the next second your down and screaming loud as hell because you’re so scared you could pee yourself right then and there. Now those butterflies just make my stomach ache and that flutter in my chest is nothing but hurt. There was a time, when love swept me off my feet. I never thought I’d have to take reality into account. Though it’s still the sweet sort of thing to do, I’ll have a parachute next time I take such a leap. Hey, they can’t call it falling if you’re on your knees and crawling. 

13:

As I sit here eating cake on a stick (like the ones from Starbucks, but homemade!), drinking lots and lots of water to stay healthy and letting a facial cream “illuminate” my face, I wonder sometimes why I’m doing this. I am trying my best to look good but enjoy life too. Is it supposed to be hard? Are we supposed to slave at the balance between obsessing and neglecting? And we don’t even have to focus JUST on our bodies. I absolutely hate, sometimes, my creative mind that buys an outfit that requires a lot of attention before I go to school. Call me lazy, but sometimes I could just throw on a t-shirt and forget my pants but then feel too tired to go back upstairs to get them! I am so exasperated by the illusion and standard that is set for girls that are not just inconvenient on the lazy days, but absolutely ridiculous to keep up all the time. I, personally, get very frustrated. And I know it’s not everyone’s situation; not everyone is focused on trying to live up to a visual standard, but I think we catch ourselves doing that every once in a while. I look at the others who don’t catch themselves for a long time or ever so I do get a little fired up ;) Anyways, guys always think we’re naturally flawless and our rolls have magically disappeared (those sweet things) on the day we wore a hip-hugging dress, but in reality, we pulled up those respiratory strangling spanx and created a perfect technique to adding smudgeless mascara. It’s like taking care of a frickin’ baby! I want to relax before that comes my way. And at any rate, by the time I have a baby I’ll be so focused on my child that all I’ll be able to do is make a reminder to at least add cover up. “Wamp wamp wamp wamp wamp” it probably sounds like. “She’s so complaining” you could think, but can I have a revolution?! A revolution, not just individually, but socially too, that says more than the natural look is in, but the actually PRACTICAL look. Because I don’t want to have to deal with checking my basis for getting dressed today because there’s pressure to look special or sexy for an OUTSIDE reason. That’s how a lot of girls get their false expectations and offset standards and I don’t want to be one of those. Society I tell you! It isn’t the culprit, but it’s a pretty big bowl for it. It is pretty screwed up if you ask me, looking at the teen section in that one store with those push up bikini’s for 10 YEAR OLDS!!.......Ok, so my tirade is pretty much calming down. But, I think you are latest on board with the exasperation of kids around us and even our age believing we have to look just so or we’re not attractive, right? I have one question to ask now that will maybe turn us away from this “unreachable goal” that slips through our down to earth views. Are we setting these standards for our looks out of narcissism? Is that how the unrealistic updates to our goals happen? Maybe our goals should be to be healthy, not skinny. Cared for, not perfect. Be satisfied with how we look by our eyes, not by who pays attention to us. I am tired of trying to play their game. I want to set MY life upon something that matters. There is a point to having good hygiene and paying attention to looking presentable, but, I.....don’t want to be a real eye catching cup but then the inside is dirty so you can’t pour something into it. Both religiously and relationship sounding right? (The two big R’s!). In a basic sense, I am realizing how better we all look when we’re happy. The worst thing to see is an unhappy face on a pretty girl. Or, an edited version made up by a guy friend who had just broken up with a girl; a demon in a beautiful nesting doll. Truth so blunt, right? Obsessing over what I look like at all angles like I’m trying to hide something sounds so tiring, and mixes up my priorities. Now, I won’t kiss my spanx goodbye (because they are nice to have when wearing a hip hugging dress), but I won’t keep them because I think I’m fat. I won’t down glasses of water so guys think my face looks pretty. I’ll drink it because I know I’ll feel better in the brain and I’ll have a healthy body (and won’t have to spend lots of time in the bathroom doing makeup ;) My lazy self!). That’s my opinion, and I am sticking to it. I won’t become a shallow person, and I’ll remember keeping an image up only lasts so long, so why not work on something that isn’t temporary? As I finish my cake shaped like a chick (in celebration of Easter), I raise my glass of water proclaiming a new standard; “Up with the middle finger to society, and down with the water for self-happiness!” God, Fe, and this blog will keep me accountable to that toast.tiny little pieces. But now everything is alright and I’m okay. There’s no 

For What It's Worth (Part II)

Fe's Wisdom:

Before I get all serious and stuff, I would to tell y’all another funny and embarrassing thing that has happened to me (there is just NO end to it, is there?). So, its spring break right? Day after I get home from Phoenix, I’m driving down to El Hurache’s in Poulsbo to meet my parents for lunch. Well, I’m coming down the small hill that leads to the intersection by the high school. Now, before I started descending the hill, I thought “wouldn’t it be funny if the guy I like was going to be at that intersection?” I’m not sure why that crossed my mind, so don’t ask. Anyhoos, I get about 10 yards from the intersection and I see no one other than the guy I like walk up and hit the button to change the light so he can cross the street. Well, the light changes yellow as I’m about 5 yards from the intersection. With no time to slam my breaks on I tap them in case I do have to stop suddenly. So I go flying through the intersection just as he sets his foot on the cross walk. His face was priceless. In all honesty, the only things I thought in those 45 seconds were “Crap, that’s him (as I was coming up on the intersection.)” and “SHOOT! I almost killed him! I hope he didn’t recognize me…”

Okay, now in all seriousness…

They try us on, and hold onto us for a while- like cheap merchandise. The way we react to being treated like is acting like we came with a warranty and a receipt. They just take us back if they decide we actually don’t suite them! It’s like if they notice a hole in the shrink wrap- in reality, the fever to resist they’re beckoning to intimacy- they feel like we are spoiled. You see how the world has changed? Instead of guys, these days wishing for someone pure, they look for someone soiled because they have hope that sex will be better. Harsh, I know, but its truth. Look around people. By the time a woman reaches the age of twenty five, she has a 90% chance that she’s lost her V-card.  Let’s be honest, to most guys out there, women are expandable. They just return the one’s that they are tired of to the store and then go on to the larger stores and go window shopping again. But every now and then, that one guy comes along, who looks past all the other items in the window, and looks straight to us- the beat up, bruised, possibly permanently damaged, dull and fading figures in the window and go, “That one there. I want her. She’s been returned so many times because she refused to change for someone. She’s pure and I like that about her.” Ladies, don’t ever change for anyone. We are all aware of that fact that we quite often change ourselves in any way possible to appeal to whomever our hearts helplessly fall for. What I have discovered, as having been through this myself, that when one does so, that soul is not completely happy with itself. Just by human nature, we have a tendency to want to fulfill our self needs before fulfilling someone else’s.  So tell me- why do we change ourselves into someone we don’t like for someone else? Do we not understand that before we can truly have the ability to love someone else, we have to first learn to love ourselves? How can we expect to put our heart and soul into someone else if we first haven’t even invested 100% of our love into ourselves? Didn’t our mother’s always tell us that we have to learn to crawl before we can learn to walk? Why? Why do we change ourselves into someone that we are unfamiliar with, let alone may not even like? Is it just for the momentary admiration and attraction from this one person, whom we already know will be non-existent to our minds on the near future? Why do we do this? It’s because when our hearts fall for someone, we only care about the present. We give little to no consent to our future. It’s because- and I say this in all honestly- that our hearts are in our heads, and our heads are up our asses. And frankly, when you’re in such admiration for someone, up your ass is a beautiful place. Dark, yes, but it is the dark that leaves us to just having to imagine everything. Then imagination turns to dreaming, and dreaming turns into pretending. And pretending…pretending is where fallout begins to breathe its first, monstrous breathes. So instead of the cheap, unsatisfiable guys walking by, only wanting the shining, glimmering beacons of easy-living, we only stand out to those who are like us- damaged but pure. Listen to me girls- those of you have been cheated on; those of you who beat yourselves up with guilt for liking someone; those of you have been told that you weren’t worth the effort; those of you who have seen one thing and been told the other; those of you have had your boyfriend return you several times, just to buy you back, but then return you for good; and those of you who can’t seem to get one guy to look your way- listen when I say that we are to stay strong in who we are. That we are to remain unchanged and pure, no matter the circumstances. We hereby promise to hold out, no matter how much it hurts, for the everlasting joy of our one day true love to come along and see the diamond inside the coal. When you find a guy like this, you hold onto him like your life depended on it. Never change for the falsehoods of the cheap, drive-by, bang-bang guys, because when the time comes, we will still be our genuine, true selves. We won’t be the soiled girls that other- I’ll say it- bastards have manipulated us into.

You never kiss somebody so that, in the future, they can break your heart. Anyway, these guys we like in high school- they don’t last. They just fade. All we can do is swallow our pride, suck in our tears, and walk a little straighter. Instead of hating these guys who lead us on and drop us off, we can only hope for them to one day find the woman of their dreams. The same goes for the guys we like, that like someone else. It is upon realizing that we want the best for someone, even though we may not be the best, that we meet ourselves. But we absolutely have to register this before we are caught off guard and stuck in the dark and all we can fathom is that something strange in going on. I’ve been there and it is scary- not knowing what to do or what to think. Don’t worry everything is going to be OK.

For What It's Worth (Part I)

13's Wisom...

Girls get it from romance novels. Guys get it from swimsuit models. No wonder either side expects and why our butts hurt so much when we fall from cloud 9. Our daydreams full of sweet lullaby’s and candied clouds get crushed by these immature wet dreams of “perfect” bodies and mirages of hidden dominatrices in every girl. Do we seriously have such opposite angles that, when met, explode in front of our eyes? The explosions are so close that we do not see what the sparks were from. We find out later, but in the moment, the world is topsy turvy and there is no savior to the broken-down-in-the-bathroom girls and the irritable loud-mouth boys so tangled in their own confusion and anger they punch anything in their path. Is there no saving these little girl and little boys from the trap that almost inevitably sets off when the two come together? Mamma never taught me how to be a sweet girl. Daddy didn’t show little boys how to treat little girls. (Love, Save the Empty) Now are you scared of dating? I am! I am! Everyone knows it’s worth it by now, but, that doesn’t erase the justified pessimistic thoughts on how things MIGHT go (notice the word might). We have these expectations that are blown out of proportion so little girls (and little boys) are blown out of the water when views come together and they seem polar opposite! Keep dreaming little girl and grow wildly to be that woman you’ve always wanted to be so you can stand firm when that tearing wind of romance comes through. And little boy keep learning how to be a man, hold on tight to letting go of the insignificant things (like sex), and see how valuable that little girl is in your arms. That line of black and white gets so grey when you have sunglasses of romance on. I cannot feel enough for you who have already gone through so much heartache. I cannot warn enough how nasty romanticness can get, and I cannot highlight enough how wonderful it is in the end either to my ladies I teach at church. Loves, it’s a hard world out there :’( you have to work so much harder to be at the standard you want your hubby to be at. You attract what you are. Most of us haven’t been taught how to handle the bloody muscles we own or are being thrown at us. That’s ok, but, what are you going to do next? Your reaction and action will determine where you’ll be at; it’s not determined by where you started. No one has to be a product of their environment. For all the ladies out there sitting on the floor wondering what went wrong or why can’t things happen, don’t lose hope yet. Start your mission now to find the best guy, because, despite whatever evidence you hold in your hand that says you aren’t worth anything, you are worth EVERYTHING. It’s not that no one wants you now or forever, God’s just busy writing your true love story. (“Write faster God! Please!” -rose) and yes I got that from pinterest :P but its true. No one can see from down here what’s coming over the hill, or the mountain we call a breakup. So, it’s ok to go through that 7 grief process or whatever they call it, but, remember that life throws the best things at us sometimes at the worst times. Don’t let life catch you off guard with a good guy in the middle of your sulking or lazy-buns-couch-sitting with a gallon of ice cream. Be ready for that new horizon or else it’ll blind your eyes and you won’t be able to see the beauty! If you ever want to get anything done for your future, you got to first get off that really low on the ground couch that just sucks you in. Changing your life is like changing the channel; you got to get up and do it yourself (minus the remote, cause God hid it between the cushions so you’d move your posterior derriere off the couch and be ready for that guy!). Your life doesn’t suck forever; it changes and messily shapes into something better if you clean it. Although I know how fun and comfy it is just sit on your couch and write about how people can clean up they’re messed up life and find a guy reflecting your best self, I do have to change the channel and I will write about how I do that to you along the way. So I’m not slacking off! Getting to date a wonderful guy only comes from attracting him you know. So I figure that knight in shining armor won’t want to save the whore across the street. It’ll be the woman whose beauty is shining from the inside who can hold herself up by her own two legs, not another vertical object. It’ll catch his eye and he’ll forget about that lovely looking gal across the street. Sounds pretty harsh, but think of guys with standards.  Maybe harder to attract, but they’re just naturally more attractive and more hunkin’ of a man (don’t you want that?) Plus, if you want to sort out the bad apples, be in a tower of standards that reflect who you are. Only the jerks will go across the street because they know it’s easier, and only real knights will take the long trek up the tower (by our hair evidently). Now here’s some more analogyish stuff; “Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees (I’m at high altitude! Woo!). The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree...” - Peter Wentz. Wooahhhh O_O That so applies to life. Thank you Pete! All in all, I think our mission within these four years is to attract an amazing guy. Might as well start at the beginning; becoming a girl that WOULD attract that sort of guy :) Thank the Lord I had this revelation before killing myself at the gym. Now I can eat cheese puffs as I read my Bible, because it’s what makes me happy.
XOXO,
Rose


P.S. Check back tomorrow for Part II- by 23. (: