Initially, if you readers have yet to grasp the concept of a
fringe relationship, it is the exact same thing as making reservation at a restaurant.
There’s a specific table with your name all over it. However, if you change
your mind, you have the option of canceling the reservation and handing that
now empty table to a deserving couple, family, lonely person, etc. You like
what the menu has to offer minus a few items, but for the most part, everything
you enjoy is there. But if you wake up on the day of your reservation and find
yourself craving something that isn’t on that menu, you can cancel those
reservations and hit the road.
One day
I’ll stop talking in metaphors. Wanna hear about my life? Well, here ya go:
I’ve
met a kind person. They treat me well. Their family likes me. I enjoy being
their friend. They’ve completely fallen for my charm (or lack thereof).The only
problem is that I haven’t quite made up my mind…at all. In the six months I’ve
known this person, I can’t manage to see anything past what is at the moment.
Sure the whole ‘I’m dating someone’ would get that other kid that asked me out,
off my ass, but that’s not exactly the ethical thing to do (though I suppose
running over a stoner’s foot because they hit on me was ethical…). And also, I’ve been itching to hit the road. When
you think of someone and the first word that crosses your mind is “run” then
maybe you should listen? Thing is, I’ve dug myself too deep into this whole to
climb out with ease. Hell, he managed to text me to see how my flight home was yesterday.
It’s was like 10:00 at night. Who does that?
Typically
when you meet people you end up kind of dating (I don’t like to call it quite ‘dating.’
But that’s just because using that word scares me), you fall for them fairly
hard, right? So why am I overwhelmed with the feeling of complete dread and
hesitation? I’m either turning back into my nervous self, or this is indicative
of some greater thing. On the other hand,
I don’t want to break the heart of one of the few people I’ve ever met that
treats me like an actual human being and doesn’t act like some immature jackass
and uses sappy, stupid, “romantic” pick up’s like that other kid. I can be my
weird, occasionally harsh, real, person. I’m not being treated like someone’s
pet dog. Also, I don’t quite feel like
the person who would have the girlfriend
title in high school. I just can’t see it. It’s not that I feel like I’d make a
crap girlfriend. Me and 13, we don’t mess around. We won’t tie a guy up just to
let him down. And I have keen feeling that neither of us wish to be tied down
in an unequal relationship either.
THIS
JUST OCCURRED TO ME BECAUSE I READ OUR BLOG BLURB UP TOP: “Both, on an evening over Skype, decided that they are to
experience a dating relationship (with those they like) by graduation. Between
now (day 884) and day zero (graduation day),”
WE
MADE THIS A CHALLENGE FOR OURSELVES. I THINK WE HAVE LIKE 340 DAYS LEFT. And I honestly
don’t think going out on dates counted in our terms and conditions. I think we
said we actually had to be in a committed relationship. I CAN’T EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Anyways, I’ve determined just one
for sure thing from my, like my writing accomplice, previous three dates:
I’m screwed.
-23
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