Fringe Broken Down

               I don’t remember if we ever took the time to give the actual definition of a fringe relationship. A fringe relationship is initially when both subjects are not necessarily single, nor are they necessarily dating…it’s basically a relationship in a Venn diagram. We call it ‘fringe’ because you are on the very edge of being single, and you are also on the very edge of dating.  Though seemingly simple, a fringe relationship is one of the best and most miserable things you will ever experience. Not just because of the constant tension between to two participants, but because of the word of mouth…and let me tell you, nothing is more interesting to teenagers than who is about to start dating who. Once people hear about you spending unusual amounts of time with one person of the opposite gender you may as well be the town celebrity. You will be asked prying questions. You will get looks. You will be told that “oh, but I thought that they liked…” And the only part that is worse than the social buzz created by your peers, is the protective instinct that every woman is “blessed” with at birth. The fringe relationship will make sure that you feel like there is a safety net under the tightrope that you are walking. Guess what? There is no safety net. Because nothing is set in stone, there is no guarantee that your counterpart will stay…however, even though you make sure to acknowledge this lovely fact of fringe, when the time does come that the other starts to pull away, even the idea of it cuts you like a knife. And it hurts this way because you know that the two of you willingly got as close as you possibly could. It is because in every time you reunite with one another, you are praying for something more; maybe they’ll put their arm around me; maybe I’ll get a hand on my shoulder. You have to forcibly tell yourself not to lean your head on their shoulder. You have to keep yourself from telling them how much you appreciate them. You have to force your mind not to think about them, simply so you can fall asleep. I can assure you, that being there, right next to someone who you can just feel loves you, is the most comforting thing in the world; when you can hear the words they want to say, when you can almost read their thoughts…The first blow to this fortress is when you can no longer sense what they are thinking, no matter how close you are to one another. Then they kind of stop making contact with you and you’re left there wondering what you did wrong…I assure you, you have done nothing wrong…sometimes feelings fade away.  I think the worst thing possible would be to find out that you were the replacement while they were waiting for their first flame, or crush or whatever, to become available again. The worst part about a fringe relationship is that the other party is free to leave and you have to act like there was nothing more. You have to act happy when you see that they finally started a serious relationship with someone. Sometimes the hardest part is having to let go, even if everything they did promised “I love you.” Unfortunately, as human beings, we have to face this kind of event one way or another. The fringe phase is when you are searching; when you are learning about the people worth living for; you’ll learn to be open, and you’ll learn to live without the people that you cared about the most. Just remind yourself that life is not a Hollywood movie.  Do not go up to them and pour out all of the feelings you have been repressing. You will be left looking like a fool, kicking yourself for being such an idiot, singing “but you’re the only one that leaves too soon, and I would fall for you.”

                Unfortunately, for any of those who wish to get married, or find any romantic relationship at all, must pass through the fringe phase. Just remember that each heart break is one more step in the right direction. And no matter what happens to you, you must tell yourself that you are 100 proof.

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