Like A Fishy...

23:

Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. I mean, nothing is wrong, so that must mean that something is wrong, right? Like, I quit. I don’t even know how to life anymore. I can’t even begin to understand things. I have a life now and I don’t know what to do with it. I feel the same way I did when my dad showed me an iPad for the first time. I was like “Oh my gosh, this is so cool! What is it?” I just acknowledged the fact that I was witnessing first-hand something that only very fortunate people have. See how this relates to having a life?

                So, I have no good idea for a transition into throwing one’s caution to the wind, so I’ll just tell you now that that’s our topic. Also, I have no idea what I’m doing or how to do anything but I think my natural cluelessness is working to my advantage- I guess if that’s how you wish to put it- working to my advantage. Whatever.

                Alrighty, so going with the flow: easy for fish, bad for humans. As human beings we are naturally pushed to plan out a map for our future. We are raised with the impression that knowing what you want in life is a very good thing. I’ve tried it for the past seventeen years you guys, it sucks. All it does is stress you out. Now I, living embodiment of a control freak, am deciding to throw all caution to the wind and let it take me wherever it may- to be honest, it’s working very well so far. I don’t think about the day before and I don’t think about tomorrow. I think about important dates and studies of the things I need to study and junk like that, but I’ve taken to making decisions on a whim. 

                So I’ve been at work all day and before that, I drove for twelve hours straight, and we all know where this is going:

Buenos Noches

Good Night

Aloha

Farewell

Goodbye

23 OUT.

 13:
“Going with the flow”. You know ladies and gents, I’ve never really been good at that. I have always wanted to have control of at least one thing in my life. Being religious, I have always been taught to “let everything go”, “don’t let your past keep you from stepping up to the alter”, “you are a free child of God”. It was always put so flowery, like I have to hypnotize myself to not pay attention to social norms, ‘mold’ myself to being a humble, flexible person. I am very different from that. It’s never been in me to let my life go as it goes; I'm a bad example of a fishy! I think it is my decision, and God’s, what my life is for. Sure, I am pretty flexible for other people and it takes a lot for me to become frustrated or angry, but, I certainly am not into letting the world pull me wherever it wants me. I do not live without opinion or passion of what I want my life to be. Clarification though, following God or following any path is not about putting on horse blinders to everything else and ‘going for the goal’, without room for changes. It is about having a focus to come back to at the end of the day.

                Handling life "like a fishy”, to me, means understanding what’s important, and not stressing out about my 'school' not understanding those facts, or life around you seeming to squash your efforts. The concept is going with the changes that approach your life and accepting them as something to mold your life plan around. You decide what you want for your life, and do not stress whether your donut isn’t chocolate or if your coffee didn’t come on time, or worse, if your SAT score came back distraughting. It is, without a doubt, whatever happens today is not a precursor to a set plan of tomorrow. My peoples, 13 is fantastically oriented with overstressing and knows what it’s like to not have enough time to do what you want, or not get the grade you were hoping for. Take it from someone who knows life isn’t there to cater to you, but you’re there to cater the punches when life steers you wrong and it tries to screw you over. Little tidbit, none of us are virgins. Life’s already screwed us, and will continue to! And you know what, I will not stand for that. I will do something about it and take what comes. I will go with the flows of shit from the fan, with stride and patience which will benefit me in the end. I’m not saying it won’t be tough, but I know my life will be better in the end for it. And if any one of you other fishies wants to join me, please do :) You know Marlin and Dory wouldn’t have had so much fun going through that tube thing in Nemo if they weren’t together! Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful week, and you take life in big relaxing breathes, like a pregnant woman, because it’s the last few weeks of school and I don’t want any of my followers dying! We still have much to write to you  :P

What Am I Doing, Why Am I Doing This?

So, 13 is MIA on this one. Let's talk about being indecisive:

So I’m standing in my bathroom, looking down at my feet because I had nothing better to do when I suddenly suffered from the undeniable feeling that I had exited an important stage of adolescent life. I felt that I had just lost contact with m younger, more naïve self that didn’t even think twice before giving my heart away. I felt like I was that responsible person who could manage a healthy relationship and succeed due to some unknown, instinctive understanding of how love works. I have no idea why this moment was triggered so abruptly, but it did. Unfortunately, I’m still completely unaware of how to handle my current situation with this POI (person of interest).

Let’s talk about indecisiveness:

                Like, my life doesn’t even make sense anymore. I have so much on plate right now I have no clue where to start: Finals are coming; SAT/ACT testing; Potential dating; working my 9 to 5 job (I have one now); finishing that homework from two weeks ago I still haven’t done; plan vacations; it’s all rather stressful. Literally, my life doesn’t even make sense. I’ve kind of just been following my instinct and gotten into the casual flow of getting work in a studying and driving and working and dating and studying and working and this mess of “what do I do” songs trotting around my head like a freaking cattle drive. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: What am I doing? Why am I doing this? So now I’m reading over all of our past posts and finding every piece of wisdom I never applied to my life one year ago and finding that it applies greatly to this very moment. Excessive examples:

 

“My answer: How does your heart beat? Why do you breathe? Loves just happens naturally. There are no choices. It just happens.” March 31, 2012 ‘Fools Like Us’

“Maybe 13 and I will find a great new guy junior year. Who knows? But until then, we shall remember the lessons we have unwillingly learned and the many that we are bound to unwillingly learn in the future.” June 16, 2012 ‘It’s Time for A Change’

“The idea of having to spend time with someone who loves me more than I could possibly ever love them seemed a bit incarcerating. I don’t want to be tied down to this place. I don’t wish to keep my roots in Seattle. I’d don’t want someone who wants to and tries to keep me here. Call me distant, call me crazy, call me strange- but it’s true and it’s coming from a place in my mind that I didn’t even know was there.” March 24, 2012 ‘Stead Fast and Unwavering’

Mixed feelings right? I’m so glad we started this blog because had we not had a place to write these fantastic ideas down, we’d be more lost than Kim Kardashian in a corn field. In the midst of writing this post and trying to figure out this little predicament, I rage quit and decided to cook out my thoughts. I only learned one thing and that one this is that I created a delicious dish. You must try it:

                -Smother a cooking pan in butter

                -Sauté choice # of mushrooms, chopped onions and a spoon of garlic

                -Once mushrooms are brown, add chicken breast

                -Add ¼ cup of lemon juice

                -Once chicken breast appears cooked, add ½ cup of chicken broth, then ¼ cup of white wine

                -Add small amount of lime juice

                -Finish cooking chicken; add salt, pepper, and oregano

                - Say “yum”

 

Anyhow, I’m just willing to here by admit that I have no idea where any of this is going, but I think I’m willing to give this thing a chance. I think that, well, I’ll just quote our 2^nd most popular post: “Love isn’t always a lightning bolt. Maybe sometimes it’s just a choice. When we meet these people that we think we like, we don’t know if they’re the love of our lives, but we decide to give them the chance to be. You know, maybe true love is a decision- a decision to take a chance on somebody, to give to somebody without worrying if they’re going to give anything back, or if they’re going to hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something that you have to choose. How do we achieve this? We start by putting all our fantasies of true love where they belong… Let’s get this straight people; True love is a process, not an event. And however it turns out, if it turns out, it’s all really in our hands.”

                  Still Clueless,
                          23

Awkward

13:

Ladies, it has been too long. This last year has been crazy with a steady amount of adventures we will be happy to share with you. Being back is very exciting and we hope you’re just as excited! This blog will have quality of content like nobody’s business ;) First off though, Rose wants to ramble on about her FIRST REAL DATE (“Doth thou heareth the screeches of my fellow ladies?”): It actually occurred no further than a month ago, so it is fresh in my mind to share! This guy I accepted a date from, is quite attractive. His jaw could cut paper *fans self*. You know me though; the biggest deal sealer was his insides. He’s a sweetheart with an accepting nature I haven’t found in a while. He’s very refreshing and I will be going on a second date this Thursday! Funny how simple dating really is....I always thought there had to be a process of quick glances and embarrassing first contacts. It happened out of the blue for me. I couldn’t be more confused at the time, but the moment I checked yes (quite literally; oh I can’t wait to tell ya’ll about it!!), a weight of worry lifted off my shoulders. Clarity emerged through all the little worries every 16 year old dares someone to say they don’t matter. I may be 17, and getting older, but I still had a fear that it’d be majorly awkward and I’d be red as a tomato. BUT IT HAPPENED AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD JOG BACK DOWN THE HALLWAY AT WORK lol. It turned out he was so nervous about how I’d respond that once he got my answer, all he could think about was running back to his office to poor over the piece of paper he’d given to me <3 *dies a slow death from over exposure to cuteness* He forgot to ask for my number too, so I had to ungracefully run across my work parking lot in high heels to get to him (Rose is working now? She actually got employed?). There is so much more to this story, but the ending point is that Rose’s dating exposure is getting a little more intense! And she’s even gained a story on this first date that will have you rolling on the floor laughing till you hurt. At least my friends did when they heard it  :P So much to say now that I am back, but I will leave you all with this until next week; Love isn’t a part of the dating equation, only a growing background noise until it jumps out at you! It’s a hue of color that shows clearer as you discover favorable traits in a person, and sometimes even the weird traits! I’m sure not in love with this guy, but I’m willing to find more about him since things are going pretty swell  :3

23:         

I have a good story too: My counterpart was not the only one asked on a date: I was asked to accompany a male friend twice. Not that it would bother me in a proportional manner (i.e., one request one week, another the next) but no. By my luck it was in the same forty-five minute period. Awkwardly, as expected, I PANICKED SO HARD THAT MY TOUNGUE WENT NUMB AND I PASSED OUT AT MY SEAT FOR 30 SECONDS. I said no to the second guy who asked me. Only a friend (I always feel bad for the guys who get friend-zoned…he also bores me to death), I had to put off the first offer because of a stinking chemistry test I had to study for; it was also last minute. After being asked to wait and face this person, I was like “Sorry, you missed me by a few seconds. I’ve made it to my location.” Awkward. AWKWARD. I guess though, now that I’m past the initial shock, I can handle this now. At least, I say that and when/if it DOES occur again, I’ll be just as panicky.

                Anyhow…hey guys…welcome back…season’s greetings…seen any good movies lately? This may take some time, being we’ve been away for almost a year now, but we’ll find ways to accurately put words onto text documents soon. Until that day, I wrote this out of the blue on Tuesday:

Like many of the special moments in life, you won’t see it coming. It will come at you from behind and engulf you like a wildfire does the driest landscapes. You won’t make sense of it; you won’t be able to explain it. You’ll just know that some significant event has taken place and you’ll be scared, excited, and relieved all in one moment.

                There’s a line in a song that goes: You think you know what you’re looking for, until what you’re looking for finds you. I figure that when it does find you, if it finds you, it is subtle. There is no confetti, no parade, but in one single moment, be it at first glance or over time, whether or not the two souls are alike or of difference, a connection is made- a bond so strong that the people around you can feel it. It lingers in the air. It is an energy with an unknown origin. It can be seen without showing itself and it can be heard without making a sound. It is a bond so strong that neither time, nor distance, nor any emotion can break it. It cannot be contained in a shift of the eyes. It cannot be said in a sentence, a book, or a word. It simply exists. It is felt pouring through every inch of your soul. It has been shared between two people and shall remain there. This energy exists in way that allows these two beings to create equilibrium and fade into one whole. It is as if a bridge is made and these two people melt into each other. If you were to hold up a cloth in the rain, the separate rain drops will soak through the cloth, and they become one steady stream of water. There is no trace that one was once two.