Single & Loveable

  "Afraid of losing my chances...It’s only a little while I have my pretty youth...It’s easier...I have to, to get the experience...I want excitement...I’m going to get the satisfaction and happiness...I want...There’s nothing that could ever fulfill its place." DATING....the reasons we here to date, the reasons we give ourselves to “get out there”; Ahhh…the pressure we’re getting as teenagers! Will that area of our life ever get a break from the questioning and poking? Then on top of outside forces, we ourselves have this imbedded need for meaningful relationships. Sure that’s a born trait, but what we do with that desire, is getting so out of hand as a society. Supposedly, we’re supposed to be unrestrained in our desires. The world raises a perspective that we are born for “romantic relationships”, therefore it’s okay and sometimes a must in most ages. They say it’s never too soon to develop one (a relationship), and it’s a quick revelation. “We should go after the desire once it hits”......I have a question; do I have the same definition of dating we’re talking about here? I’m looking for ACTION, VERB LOVE within this activity if you haven’t figured that out yet :) The world says I should be looking for the quick fix to my loneliness or hole in my heart through dating, among other processes. MOST OF SOCIETY AND I DON’T GET ALONG AS YOU CAN TELL. For those of you that are not into dating right now like I am, or taking a break from it, I solute you. You are so strong; squishing the world’s lips whispering to date continually. I raise my toe to you ladies who are in the position of being single and waiting on love/a GOOD relationship. It’s hard. I know. If you’re dating someone you like, good for you! I hope its meaningful relationship that succeeds! So, don’t be saying I was subjugating taken women ;) I love them to death for surviving the first awkwardness Fe and I haven’t faced yet. Continuing, the purpose of dating doesn’t have to do with fulfilling a desire, and being single doesn’t have to do with being empty in reality. It’s so hard not to believe that though with all the teasing and advertisements. So, I don’t blame our fellow lovelies who are lost in the midst of the distortion. I actually feel so sad for them! Not annoyed or disgusted. Listen to your heart ladies. Listen to your beliefs and listen to your mothers. It’s a dog eat dog world out there; It’s a person suck the life out of the other person world. Dating isn’t for sucking! In either forms of the word!! So, without further or do, after that short-stop with inappropriateness, I go on my loveable spiel now-

  I’ve learned being single is an opportunity, not a limit. Whether you’ve been in a relationship before or not even gotten “the talk”, there’s a lot to do while being numero uno that is quite lovely! I get to plant deep roots; live to where people remember me. There is the chance to cultivate healthy relationships with people. I can freely get to know other guys and know how to associate with them (note to self though: you don't have to want to date someone to get to know them). In all, I have the time to prepare for the future relationship that comes my way with ultimate possibilities. Being single and loveable is all about growing yourself for the excitement of dating when either you’re ready, or have him suddenly come upon you so you have to connect with him. It’s like armoring yourself all while enjoying the prosperity of the freedom at hand. I think I like that philosophy more than sitting at home wondering why no ideal guys have interest in me. There are huge opportunities you have while being single and if other people say you have no purpose, like I’ve experienced, I am here to tell you they are DEAD WRONG. You worth more than a phone number or being known as the silly virgin. You have standards, sense, and time to fill.....okay that last one sounded depressing, but I mean you have time to fill with fun things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were getting’ it on with cupid. Truly finding happiness within yourself is a big step towards being the best person for that guy you always dreamed of. So, while being single, I personally plan to bathe in the freedom of flirtation, regular commitments, and just jiving with other guys. As a hint toward next week’s subject, knowing if I’m prepared or not for a relationship if a chance arises? Being happy single will clear the fog of indecision. I’ll be confident in myself to weigh out the pros and cons of that opportunity when it comes. There are truly benefits to having a loveable value of you and self-improving while single. Plus, all this “developing” and “associating” isn’t that lonely. So, take that society who thinks I’m lonely!! I don’t need a significant other to prove that I am valuable or loveable. I am not leftovers. And the same go to my readers!

XOXO,

13

Wonder how Fe’s doing? Follow her on her blog http://www.therotateproject.blogspot.com

*She usually updates every-other day. (:

Our Current Romantic Endevours

13:
 Hey guys! So the world of 13 today - pancakes, coffee, tackled by a friend randomly dropping by, and sitting at my computer (which is now called “lamp post”). Its 4am, and I still haven’t gotten to writing anything for you guys; procrastination. But, I’m finally sitting down (metaphorically speaking) and telling you about my life, romantically speaking. So much speaking (This is not what Jumping Bean and I are doing). We’re not talking at all, and maybe that’s for the good. You know me though; I don’t want to stop associating with the kid if we can still be friends. He’s like a disease that’s never going to get out of my head! Poor me with brain damage, asking for stress again! I can’t imagine not being friends with him, yet I can’t see us platonically working without a wrench if “I still really like you” always coming at me. Aye, what to do....actually what to hope for? Am I being selfish praying for a ripped relationship to mend out of the preexisting torn pieces? Is God on our side in this friendship? *looks for a sigh* If there’s so much stress and ickyness in a relationship is it meant to be? Hey, I’, only 16 and don’t know a whole lot even as I’m writing a “relationship blog”. The summer is here and time or me to learn this kind of stuff without so much distraction *gets FB notification* eheh....Anyways! In conclusion, Rose is confused (normal).

     Speaking of confusion, guess who got 35 boxes of Honey Graham OH’s cereal? Haha, so I was basically crying and laughing and gaping all at the same time when I came home to this, which was put in my house by BREAK-IN! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my house was broken into. What was stolen? Only kitchen table space where all the boxes were left. Long story, but my male friend and I have a yearly tradition of giving one gift to each other instead of each holiday. At random times in the year we’ll plant our gift. It’s a tradition :P We shall call him “the robber” if I talk of him again, since he broke into my house!

23,as you probably can deduce, is relaxingly not handling boy-business. She's happy at the moment preparing for her research trip and focusing on her busy life. It's quite nice to take a break from developing relationships with guys isn't it? It won't be long though that that break will soon fade away...and she isn’t happy about it! 

Well thank you for checking in on such short notice! I’ll have a regular post up by Saturday evening (it’ll be a long one) and just to let you know, as you can see to the right *makes fancy hand gesture*, we have an iTunes playlist of songs we have used on this blog and more! Enjoy the tunes and have a good rest of your week!

Medianess!!

13:

EVERYTHING HAPPENS IN GEOMETRY. Literally, I should be working in my geometry final right now, but I am taking a break from the test to write to you (Don’t do that at home kids)! Bad Rose but I have so much to tell! In example, I will be the lone ranger on this blog for 4-5 weeks. If you haven’t caught our Facebook video notice before I posted this puppy then here you go. We love you guys very much but life comes before media (tell that to the world), Fe shall be returning sometime late in July :) No worries though; if she tried to escape I would just rope her back in! She WILL be back my lovelies! In other business, since it’s summer we can play around a bit with spreading our wings, per say. A YouTube channel will be up and going ATLEAST by Fe’s return! What do you all think? Please, please, please input your opinion downstairs (the comment box) or on our Facebook page! We’d really like to make this blog better for our viewers! (It would be used for any extra stiff we want to tell you and when we have our interactive project (spoiler alert). So this is our mass mediaful and changing message to you! We hope you’re having a grand week and if you’re already out of school, then we hope you’re having an even better than grand weekend! Check us out in the middle of the week and we’ll.....actually I *cries*, will have a regular post up as to not to deprive you. Look at this artistic rendition of high school. 

(and if you haven’t seen the video notice here’s the public link for ya: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=458413284171542&set=vb.149514041830380&type=2&theater) although it’s pretty bad quality and i ramble :P

       

A Change of Seasons

13:

              Well, a lot fades and many things rise at the end of the year. As the sun pokes out (and other blinding things do :P ), drama and inspiration drown out in the noises of school finals. Although, I can say that between fumbling and dreaming with romance, I haven’t taken a day to look at the sun. What’s wrong with love is really just what’s wrong with MY relationships. Love is way better than who or what I have stumbled onto this year. Even as I can say I have learned a lot, there are key things that have made my world into something... much uglier. Those things are and have been coming from trying to terribly search out a “love life”. As of a week ago, I started dropping profanities like pearls of wisdom seeing how mistaken I was. Now writing, there’s so much to say to explain my misfortunes and cruddy decisions and how they have distorted my heart and eyes. But I know there is limited number of pages I can write...or you would be interested in reading ;) I have made decisions and tried my best without basing or knowledge to back it up throughout my relationship with Jumping Bean. I have realized how unfit I am to decide vital paths in a relationship. So, guess who’s going to enjoy her summer without a boy-toy or boy-drama? Me! And I shall recreate my outlook on life and love during these nonsocial weeks. Sounds pretty complicated right? Well, such is life as a teenager; recreating your values and opinions by the minute. I will get passed this pain I caused myself this year and hold onto the good memories. Finishing this year sounds so icky, considering the finals, by I am ready to close the book on so many areas of my life and refresh myself. Readers, this girl has made so many dumb mistakes she could be depressed. You know what though? She is going to cry, drink her old lady tea, pray, get up, and run head first into finding happy, without romance. Unless she can learn to be happy with herself and life, she is not going to jump anybody anytime soon ;) Patience young grasshopper readers, she will be armed to the teeth soon to date!

23:

          I kinda guess my new goal for next year is to start hanging out with other people...the same people I usually hang out with, but some other new people too. With new classes ya know, it’s bound to happen. I just feel like that if I don’t, I’ll go crazy- or something like that. It just feels like some things are getting to me…like how people are sometimes. I myself (and I am willing to admit this) have not been in the best of moods lately. Stress can get to people like that. Add finals on top of your last year to collect data for your senior project (this is my LAST chance), and the fact that the place that I’m staying for this trip is the last time I’ll be staying there...it’s hard to ruin a ten year long tradition. I practically grew up there and it kills a huge part of me to know that I’m never coming back…it’s worse of a feeling than back in March during the fallout…There’s a ton of other stuff but those are my main two.

It also bothers me how people expect you to be a certain way…society, friends, enemies, even your best friend and how they say that they won’t hold you to their standards, but then they go and do it anyway. Let’s not forget the thing with guys- how they have it so easy sometimes. It’s complicated…how you have to pretend that you don’t notice them noticing you. High school, I swear…it’s a battlefield for your heart. Just to get through these four years of hell we practically agree to ourselves to have a certain personality and go along with it. But how do you know if it’s even you? How do you define yourself by some personality that you’ve created and live it out? What if no one likes that costume?  Then that person that we are changes- grows more knowledgeable, more wise. We build stronger barriers between people and our hearts. We come to recognize the way that people work. We can read looks on faces and tones of voice over text. Sometimes we learn this over a long period of time. Maybe I’m over analyzing. Maybe this is something you’d hear thirty years ago. But like Rose and I, we’ve learned our lessons the hard way.

 Lesson 1: Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to hear the answer to.

 Lesson 2: Keep your fences up.

 Lesson 3: Time is everything. Try not to get dates confused.

 Lesson 4:  Never put your happiness in the hands of other people, and finally,

 Lesson 5: Always, always, always remember that if something happens, God will make it help you in the future; to carve out the better you.

Maybe 13 and I will find a great new guy junior year. Who knows? But until then, we shall remember the lessons we have unwillingly learned and the many that we are bound to unwillingly learn in the future. We started the first years post with “Statuses as of now.” Well, our “Statuses as of now” are two girls who are kissing “goodbye to Alice in Wonderland” and embracing the “oddballs” that they are. These two girls will make sure that guys will “love us for us,” no matter what we hold out for, despite all the creepers, the hazy rose colored glasses, “love and other disasters;”  none the less, “fools like us” don’t give up on love…and we’re holding out for the best, and not settling for anything less than everything. Here’s to the half-way point. Here’s to the last post before twelve grueling weeks of vacations, weathering storms (literally in my case), planning for next year, figuring out love, saying goodbye to the things that we hold dear, and prepping the battle ground for junior year.  And even though we’re still learning to walk, let’s go.

They're BAAAAAACK!

13:

Jumping Bean strikes again! I thought it was over....like really over. Not like all the other times before where I had more doubt than belief. This time....I really believed the drama, the stress of having to watch my words, the tears of pain for a friend never moving on, was done. I should have caught the warning when we once had a quick conversation; he had basically proclaimed he “forgave me” for my harsh actions, but still believed our broken relationship was all my fault and he wished I had known the truth. I left it at that, being so frustrated by the first part. And we did not breach the subject again. He said this past Sunday, “I’m actually happy you said no.” It surprised me. I was happy for him, relieved for myself, and thanking God. But, not even 2 hours later in the night, he sent me a message; a warning. He was going to give me a, I quote, “letter of pain”. I found that message two days later before youth group. I became pretty anxious. What if it’s a regret letter? What does he expect? Should I take it or refuse it? We talked in person after youth group once I read his letter. I realized how irrevocably similar this note was to his Valentine’s Day one (see “A Post Dedicated to Rose”); a love note desperate for a chance. There was less guilt tripping wrote but basically the same. We sat too long and I didn’t even give him a yes or no answer. I asked him why he gave me this even though he KNEW what I would say. I refused to dish out the pain just because he thought he would learn from it, as he put. In response to his attempt to cause himself pain enough to never make the mistake again (by keep asking), I told him, “I’ll support you in life with what I can, but I won’t give you what I don’t have; the feelings I don’t have.” “God does not intend for you to learn through pain.” “I don’t know how to help you but this is unhealthy. You need to find another way to express yourself, not by writing letters and a question you KNOW the answer to.” “You’re stuck in a no, but there are yes’s in your future. If you keep stuck in a no you could miss out on the opportunities of a yes.” “Find your happiness, even if it’s not with me.” These bits came out in between silent minutes; he never spoke after explaining his purpose. You could have heard a pin drop if it were not for the rain. Tears of course were involved; his out of sadness and mine out of frustration. We’re emotional creatures ;) So....I guess it wasn’t over. Without him knowing, I’ll set boundaries because I don’t want to inflict pain by being close, but not close enough. Being buddies, on what level is a mystery. I won’t be offended or devastated if he decides to set up boundaries either- Because I care more about him as a person than our relationship. Well ladies, looks like the stress isn’t over yet. Love is not this hard. Life is not intended to be this painful. God hasn’t planned our paths of learning or getting to love to be so sticky and painful. That’s what I believe. Looks like this isn’t the relationship for me! (Don’t worry; I knew those months before).

23: So many things in life take patience. I say this as I sit in the traffic jam that’s been moving along at ten miles per hours (that’s about fifteen kilometers per hour for our international readers) for the past five miles and for what looks to be another fifteen miles ahead. It’s not that bad though, after all, there is a gorgeous thunderstorm over head. I can’t even tell you how many lighting strikes I’ve seen in the past thirty minutes. That’s the only great part about this stinking traffic jam…that I decided I’d be stuck here long enough to come up with something for a post…Should I be on my laptop in the middle of a thunder storm? I should know this…

                Anyhow, here my weekly notion of love and how it can people up a wall:

                Like my counterpart, the past does tend to rear its ugly head every once in a while, but just like a game of whack-a-mole, I shove it back into the depths of my mind and repeat the process until I’ve knocked the mole unconscious for several days…I haven’t quite gotten to the point of rodent killing poison- though I might feel less guilty about it if I use it on the moles that insist on me finding a boyfriend. I’m still happy as a pickle, acting and training myself to be oblivious to certain persons. ;) It seems that these few past week have old times popping back up…not like we appreciate the reminder of our more desolate days. Isn’t it funny sometimes how the past likes to rear its ugly head when you least need it?   

                So in order to keep life manageable I shall do what I need to do: Study, work up 200 dollars for the research trip (so excited!), and buy eight billion birthday present because all of my buddies’ birthday seem to be in June…

So here’s to the past: